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Submitted on
November 17, 2012


10 (who?)
This is a question to any female watchers here, inspired by this comic:….

I would like to hear first or second hand stories of sexism you have encountered within fandoms, wether at conventions, among friends, in public or online. Particularly, problems related to males assuming women are so called 'fake nerd girls', or unwanted attention or comments experienced by female cosplayers.
  • Mood: Disgust
  • Listening to: Patty Griffin
  • Reading: Barlowe's Guide to Extraterrestrials
  • Watching: Rifftrax
  • Eating: M&Ms
  • Drinking: Milo
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darling Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
There are a lot of good points made in these comments. I'm a female who enjoys playing video games, is majoring in a physical science, plays sports, and also happens to love fashion, wear makeup, and indulge in trash TV. There are a lot of traditionally "male" and "female" hobbies that I participate in frequently, and I've found that can cause just as much trouble.

A lot of girls I know who consider themselves "geeks" or "tomboys" sneer at things they think are too girly. I used to be a bit like this when I was younger, but I now realize it was due to an intrinsic need to conform to other people's ideas of what I should be like if I am going to indulge in traditionally male hobbies. Women face a lot of pressure not only to be feminine, but to not indulge in their femininity if they want to be taken seriously in male-dominated fields.

It is a common joke on campus when a woman shows up for a programming class, or a math class, or an advanced physics course. If she dresses in skirts and wears makeup, she isn't taken seriously in her studies but is still sexually objectified by the men around her; either being white-knighted or approached with condescension.

But if she is not dressed up, she is taken as "one of the guys" and isn't considered a woman. You can have a class full of men with a few female "non-lookers," and guys will still consider this class to be full of men. Those women are pressured to adhere to the hivemind of the male student body, and I've seen them often develop complexes where have their share of insulting other more girly-girls by calling them "attention-whores" or "sluts". If these women do not agree with men in those assessments, she is seen as a killjoy, oversensitive, and a bitch.

It's a frustrating place to be in. I've developed the confidence to assert my own beliefs and opinions, and the men I hang around with often come from privileged perspectives but quickly realize that I do not tolerate any sort of disrespectful behavior. This has lost me friends in the past, but it has also given me the strength to continue being the person I feel I am on the inside, without reserve.

I agree with a lot of different things said for this discussion, I just also wanted to throw this in as well. The most vicious form of sexism today, in my opinion, is the creeping, insidious sexism that is taken for granted as inherent within our society. Men often don't understand how difficult it can be in that position, but women often develop the subconscious view point of "this is just how it is" which results in their own sexist behavior as they deride anyone who steps out of the social norm. A person making a sexist joke is being offensive, but I find it even more offensive when someone decides to invalidate my feelings by acting like it is my fault for not behaving the way they expect me to.
mustardofdoom Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I haven't directly encountered this because I don't go to these conventions, but as a gamer and a scientist, I can say both areas are guy-heavy.
Mehp Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Darn some of these comments make me kinda sad. All the "get back in the kitchen" type comments are so common I dont really think about them anymore, but they're really not right. I feel lucky that I havent had to put up with too much, but things happen and I usually write it off as internet/irl creeps and move on, but alot of times I almost feel like Im being pushed to say something back and then it becomes a kind of game or something . . . idk it's all messed up. Where's etiquette when you need it?
Abiogenisis Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
Any comments in particular? There are so many I am having trouble getting through them :P
Mehp Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Darn I can't find the post to link you, but one girl mentioned, when she plays video games with her bf and his friends it's like she can't just play to have fun. They make comments like "you lost to a girl!" so it's like she's playing to prove herself or something. That's sad to me because the men are oblivious that they are taking some of the fun out of something she enjoys doing and it's not fair that she has to endure that added pressure just because she's a girl.
Abiogenisis Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
The men have never been strongly challenged on their attitudes. They probably surround themselves by people who share the same beleifs too. Part of the solution would be rapid bans of anyone using sexist language.
DivineWhirlwind Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student
Yeah seems like a common situation. Especially at anything 'nerdy'.

Usually the men who do this in my opinion are attention seekers. some of my friends look for any reason to slag off girls, some even do it as a cheep form of flirting. it's a sort of childish way of sustaining dominance.

I think deep down a lot of men are afraid of women and they use it as a way of hiding it. Basically it's all pretense. It's done purposefully to make the girl feel something... insecurity or think he's cool. I think the fact girls react to it is giving them what they want. No man in their right mind would turn down the chance to be mates with a hot gamer chick.

Probably not a bulls-eye but that's my interpretation of it anyway. Still not totally sure why lads do it though...

That said here in Ireland it's perfectly normal to slag off your friends or even strangers, usually we call it 'banter', (pretty dark sense of humor over here) but it's more jovial and not meant to be insulting.

And sorry to all the girls out there! we're not all douches, it's an unfortunate irony that those who are the loudest are generally the biggest losers.(I'll keep that last word moderate ;) )
Vladdyboy Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I could not agree with you more. Especially that last paragraph.

I don't discriminate against women, but I slag off to these douchy geek-chique types both male and female, hipsters who, just because they read a comic book, have go out to get a shirt telling people about it.

It's more about self-image than actual legitimate interests. And just because I share the same interests as them that I must automatically become their friend. No, they often turn out to be 1 dimensional characters than actual opinionated human beings, just mindless trend-whores...

As you said, the loudest turn out to be the biggest losers, so imagine a person wearing random videogame/comic book swag walking on the street telling people about about their interests.

One's gender shouldn't even matter anymore, people are too sexually repressed to let that slide.
hybridgothica Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I remember posting a status about the anime GANTZ....and this dude comes out of no where asking "What do YOU know about Gantz?" Like seriously? I know I'm a chick.....but i have a very serious Mental Database of tons of Science Fiction subjects and cyberpunk related anime. Many peoole associate certain genres to a certain sex. It's impossible! :3
Vladdyboy Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I thought that GANTZ was a female-friendly show/manga.

I've only know women ho enjoyed it.
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